what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
