finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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