best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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