i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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