he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
