:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
