Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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