It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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