too bad you live with your parents still
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
