There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
