I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
