It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize