they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize