every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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