Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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