FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
