Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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