I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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