Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
