The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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