Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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