My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
