Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
pray to the hookup gods
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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