My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just googled if crying burns calories
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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