Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
