Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
