Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
