I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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