idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Text me some of your sweat
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
