I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
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