your parents love me but you hate me
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
