brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
