its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
