so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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