you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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