physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
