doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
