He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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