Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
