cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize