I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
