i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
this just has baby written all over it
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize