So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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