i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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