So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
