She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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