I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
