you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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