Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
