I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
