I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize