Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
