Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
