id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize