Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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