Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
