I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
