We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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