If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
