worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
