I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
