If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Two words: blizzard sex
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
