I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
