No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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