Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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