Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
