Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
