i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
