We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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