You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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