apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
